Women's Workshops
So I (and 3000 other women) just attended the Simmon's School of Management Women's Leadership Workshop. Maybe I'm strange, but I just don't get excited about being in a room surrounded by women. It does not inspire me in the slightest. Rather, I find that I'm usually just simply annoyed. Especially since the first conversation of the day (while drinking coffee before the workshop started) consisted of three other women saying "I need to lose weight." Rather than proper diet and exercise, the focus was on the South Beach Diet. Exercise never came up once. And these are our fearless leaders.
One speaker had a series of books on "Happy Companies", "Happy People" and "Happy Women". Why no "Happy Men"? Because "men don't buy self-help books."
There was one really good workshop in the afternoon by Deborah Tannen, who discussed differences in conversational style between men and women. This was really useful to me, since I learned that one reason I get annoyed at workshops like this (all women) is that I communicate like a man. Women tend to "share secrets", and build relationships based on sharing secrets. I don't do that - my private life is, well, private. Men like to have constructive arguments (e.g., they will more often play devil's advocate), which often makes women insecure and backtrack on their ideas. Maybe it's because of my educational background, but I play devil's advocate and will defend my ideas (though I enjoy this more when I'm defending my ideas, rather than when I mention someone else's idea and then need to defend that!). I haven't really had female friends since high school, where I found women to be catty and bitchy. Having done computer science since, maybe I've simply learned how to communicate like a man, and now feel more comfortable in that environment. I suspect that there are still female mannerisms that I haven't shed (like looking at people while they are talking to show that I am paying attention). But it was at least enlightening for me. It doesn't mean I like women any better, but I can at least articulate now one reason why I don't!
One speaker had a series of books on "Happy Companies", "Happy People" and "Happy Women". Why no "Happy Men"? Because "men don't buy self-help books."
There was one really good workshop in the afternoon by Deborah Tannen, who discussed differences in conversational style between men and women. This was really useful to me, since I learned that one reason I get annoyed at workshops like this (all women) is that I communicate like a man. Women tend to "share secrets", and build relationships based on sharing secrets. I don't do that - my private life is, well, private. Men like to have constructive arguments (e.g., they will more often play devil's advocate), which often makes women insecure and backtrack on their ideas. Maybe it's because of my educational background, but I play devil's advocate and will defend my ideas (though I enjoy this more when I'm defending my ideas, rather than when I mention someone else's idea and then need to defend that!). I haven't really had female friends since high school, where I found women to be catty and bitchy. Having done computer science since, maybe I've simply learned how to communicate like a man, and now feel more comfortable in that environment. I suspect that there are still female mannerisms that I haven't shed (like looking at people while they are talking to show that I am paying attention). But it was at least enlightening for me. It doesn't mean I like women any better, but I can at least articulate now one reason why I don't!
posted by Carrie Gates at 1:03 PM
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